Deep thought

Ack, I’m putting ‘titles’ on each page, so I can see at a glance which is which (keeping the pages locked up in my file cabinet, I like the locals but I don’t want them reading my private thoughts) but I feel like a bit of a tool. Might as well go the whole hog with this one. Or maybe I’m just trying to put off the bit where I actually have to write down what I’m thinking about.

So… I still don’t feel great about the lavender-haired girl, but after the last couple of days, I’m starting to think that either I’m probably mostly not such a bad person, or maybe things are just too damn messed up for good and bad to have much meaning. After travelling to Arefu and meeting the Family, I felt kinda confused. I mean, everything about the Family was wrong but… they seemed. I don’t know. Decent. I mean, well, I guess they’re sort of bandits, but the thing that should have really bothered me, somehow didn’t. I’m not about to join them or anything, but, Hell, they’re doing their best.

Germantown, on the other hand. I’ve fought Super Mutants before, and occasionally they grunt out a few words, fighting talk kinda thing. This was different. A whole group of them, organised, with… plans. For the people they’d taken. I’m glad I didn’t wait any longer to go back, God only knows if there would have been anyone left alive. Seeing those bloody handprints, and realising that those… tangles of bits of people in the wire were some kind of container that they store stuff in. I just don’t even know how I’m going to process that. Not expecting to sleep well, it’s morning, but I need to sleep. Gonna finish up this bottle of Scotch. It’s pretty good, actually. Ha, like I know what Scotch should taste like… Better than vodka. Gonna get that Nuka machine when I can, keep my booze in it, so it’s nice and cold. Is it meant to be cold? Who the hell knows, I guess. Makes you feel kinda warm. ‘S nice. Library tomorrow, or maybe stealin’ that thing from the… place. C’mere, Scotch.

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